INner Reflection

As an introvert, I process emotions differently. In fact, most people see me as ‘tense’ when I feel the need to go within to heal, to process, or to recharge. I guess I have that look of ‘I’ll bite your head off if you talk to me” or “Speak and I’ll hurt you” kinda look. I’m not tense, mad, upset, or angry, I simply require alone time to process what’s happening within. I am looking forward to The Restored-Soul event coming to fruition, literally creating a space without judgment, without expectation, for any and all introverts to participate. Wear or bring whatever look you have and when the time comes for you to heal, recharge and reconnect, you are welcome. You are loved, accepted, and protected!

A couple of days ago, my Mom passed away. I will write another blog post about that, maybe, but what I want to focus on today is the healing that was granted to me, through inner reflection and why it connects to procrastination.

I read an article on FB stating the reason people procrastinate was to avoid feeling the emotion that goes with accomplishment. Interesting! I’m going to rephrase the word accomplishment to core emotional patterns. Procrastion for me looks and feels more like pressure. I am usually not a procrastinator BUT when it comes to feelings, apparently I am and I feel that through feeling pressured.

I was holding a great deal of emotional stress the few weeks before my Mother’s passing and when I finally received the call she had officially died, it was a tremendous relief. She was in a state of mental and physical turmoil and for that to end was a relief that I was grateful for!

I took the next few days to process and understand what role my Mother played in my life and what core emotion I was avoiding … yep, this is where the procrastination comes in. I was in that suffocating space and the stress had to be released! It was affecting me physically and something had to give.

Because I only dealt with my frustrations, procrastination led me to feel emotionally constipated overtime. I couldn’t process it anymore, so I caved and scheduled my favorite massage person, Stephanie, and together we worked through my blocked emotions. 

My relationship with my mother was not one of a loving mother/daughter relationship. I grew up with a Narcissistic mother, and if you know anything about this personality disorder, they show up to others in whatever capacity needed to be admired. Over the years, I also believe she acquired multiple personalities, which added interesting twists to an already crazy situation. And within the last 3 years, her dementia accelerated quickly and created another dynamic that seemed impossible!

I am asked by many people how I grew up to be a normal adult. Well, as I began to understand the journey I was on, the healing aspect of knowing we are spiritual beings first, having a physical-earthly experience was key. My reference was reading the parable of the little Soul by Donald Walsch which touched my soul! This knowledge showed me she was playing a role in my life, invoking emotions that I was to learn to overcome. Now life made a lot more sense.

I know, in my conversation with God before I came to this earth, I asked to learn, TRUST. I knew I was a spiritual being, and I knew I accepted the gift of coming to this physical world to learn how to acquire this spiritual gift, Trust. I’m going to skip the 60 years of experience I could go on and on with that validates all the dis-trust I felt and experienced but those are all justified through my physical eyes, not my spiritual eyes.

I stayed distracted and procrastinated addressing these emotions and I handled the triggers within our relationship with coping skills by mastering Pride and control. I felt I had more ‘light’ than her, which is definitely Pride. What a lie, the opposite of love and acceptance! And then control, I used my excuses like me being an introvert to stay away from situations. Wow! All I can say is wow! When my eyes were open and I was OPEN to receiving clarity, I could see that trust was the core emotion that was encased in pride and control. My heart was encased with pride and control as those survival skills I learned along the way.

Can you see why I am so grateful that my Mother played this role in my life? She did play it perfectly!  But only recently, through my unblocking of stuck emotions, I could finally see her divine self and acknowledge that role with appreciation and love in a greater capacity. I now fully know who she is, so my gratitude grew immensely through that understanding. All the hurt, anger, hatred, guilt, and frustrations dissolved like sugar in water.

I stand as a witness that I am a spiritual being first having a physical experience. This beautiful plan we call life, Yes, those physical experiences are placed on our path to invoke choices through emotions. People play a role, just like they play character roles in the movies, and those roles invoke emotions as we watch and live. We can liken those roles and emotions throughout our life to the situations that come before us. For example; I can understand and relate to an abandoned child, and the courage they have to keep on going, sharpening their street smarts to navigate amongst adults in a crazy world. I can relate completely with that character. 

What I know is we have people in our lives to teach us things we’ve asked to learn.

I also know we each hold a unique spiritual blueprint, we all have psychological filters that filter all the information and emotions that we process in life, the good, bad, and ugly stuff! 

I also know everything happens for a reason and divine timing is a constant! You are exactly where you are meant to be, even if that is in the depth of chaos or ugliness. 

I also know, without a doubt, there’s a way out!

I can show you, I can teach you, but first, you must be ready. No one can force you to create a better life, no one is responsible to create a better situation for you. YOU ARE! and when you’re ready, you know where to find me …

Namaste … and remember forgiveness is a powerful first step

Have you ever considered that deep inside, you are just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged? ~Osho

This blog is for my soul tribe!

Are you an introvert, empathic, intuitive woman? Maybe you don’t know or want to admit you are intuitive because you fear the repercussions of others finding out. You’ve already felt the disapproval of family members, maybe you feel you’re just crazy. Well, you’re not! What about feeling the disapproval within your church? Today, you have permission to stop shutting your gift down and staying silent because others don’t understand. Please stop trying to be someone or something you’re not….. therefore, my featured photo says it all! It’s time to come back to life!

Be ready to flourish into something more beautiful than you can imagine at this moment. Stayed tuned, I have a few events focused on YOU! 

Intuitive and empathic women see glimpses through the veil. Those glimpses are moments when illusions are starting to burn away. Not like a hot flame but a cool flame of awareness. It’s like seeing something no one else can see or feel. Do you say anything? Do you stay quiet? 

This awareness that is growing in you now is not the result of any conscious ‘doing’ nor do you need to struggle to make something happen. It naturally happens and I typically find it takes MORE energy to shut this gift off. Like in the movie, Frozen. Anna wore gloves over her hands and isolated herself from others. Going out in public is exhausting. Keeping the shield of being normal up, gets heavy. Small talk is more exhausting than it should be! Being in a group is exhausting! You’re maybe sensitive to others’ energy. Showing up for how the world wants you too, is exhausting! Isolating yourself is not a healthy choice. Again today, let yourself settle, allow the channel of awareness to open, let this become a center of witnessing for you. 


My story? It started when I was as young as five. I knew I was different but didn’t know how I was different. I had experienced; I hear things, I sense things and that created difficult situations with others. Feeling so alienated is not a fun way to grow up. It was lonely. Why else would I do and say some of the strange things people rejected me for? Why was it so hard to participate in small talk? Maybe it was me, I was the mistake! 

I managed by saying, that’s because I have red hair. I was a rare anomaly! People would stare, people would call me names, people would accept me but not get to close. Pat me on the head and give off the energy that felt like they were thinking; see she isn’t that smart and doesn’t know what she is saying. Don’t take her too seriously! She’ll grow out of it.

For example: When I was a young girl, I could carry on deep conversations about God, the difference between our Soul and mind with adults. It was like I was good at math but in my case, I was good with the metaphysical topics. If my parents’ friends had a question, they’d come to me. After I said what I thought, they’d look at me like a true alien and ask, how do you know this? That’s a pretty deep answer for such a young girl. That would confuse me because it was natural for me, no big deal. It was like they were asking me the characters in a comic strip and I knew them, then they were surprised I knew them. 

Another example: when I was a young mother my husband and I were participating in a neighborhood group activity. I knew the other ladies but not well. We’d say hi as we saw each other but never had a seriously deep conversation that included feelings, sharing, or any ‘friendship.’ 

This one day, I got so excited because I just found out I was pregnant, (around this pregnancy is another story for another time) but I was excited because one of these other ladies were going to have a baby too, at the same time. Why was this awkward? Because she didn’t know she was pregnant yet. Oops! I swear I thought she told me, but then I thought back, when have I ever spoken to her before today? But I knew, I also knew she was going to have a boy, born on August 5th of the next year. I also knew my baby was going to be born on July 27th. I held zero doubt! … did it all happen the way I said? Yes, it did

Can you imagine the look and reaction I got from this woman? What a way to find out such news. I’m confident you are imagining the right level of horror she felt, how could I know something so personal about her? Do you think she avoided me from then on? You’d be correct. I was the weird lady now in the neighborhood. I’m confident the rumors spread to avoid me. I scared them, rightfully so. I just remember, I believed we’d had that conversation. I believed she told me. I knew the details so clearly, it scared me. But when I see that look of horror on their face, I’ve learned over the years, how to back-peddle fast!

Again, another example: When my daughter was at a friends house, it was time for her to be home. I didn’t have a phone number, and this was before cell phones, and I didn’t have an address. So I got in the car and began ‘finding’ her. My husband came along because his part was to soften the blow of his crazy wife going to strange houses late at night. I did ‘my thing.’ I drove and took roads I felt were correct and found the house I was going to go knock on the door and bring my daughter home. Now my husband got scared, he envisioned so many things that could happen. I wasn’t scared at all because I knew! I knew this was the house. So I went to the door, keep in mind, it was after 10:30 pm. I knocked. I waited and my daughter answered the door. She was shocked and then mad because I found her! My husband was shocked that I found her. I don’t think he believed me when I said I’d find her and go knock on doors that late. And for me, I just went on with my plan. Get her in the car and go home. 

First, let me say these thoughts do not come on demand! They come when I am in a space of listening, feeling, and awareness. I’ve spent years learning to understand my gifts, now it’s your turn! Why? Because I remember the exact day I gained permission from someone, who later became my treasured mentor. 

Here’s my story of when I gained permission. I still can feel the fear that ran through me! Yet, I’ll be eternally grateful she had the confidence to say I had permission to use my gift. 

You see, I was in a conference and was assigned to take care of this woman, a guest speaker. I was to get her to the event on time, take her back to where she was staying, etc. I was so efficient! I even knew when she needed to use the restroom and would go into action moving people away from her, clearing the path for her. She’d ask, how’d you know? I just did. Then one night, it was late and we were in Salt Lake City. I am not familiar with this city, AND this was before google! I knew she hadn’t eaten and it was after 10:00 pm. I was hungry too! I asked her if she could have anything for dinner, what food would she choose. She answered GREEK. This would be a test for sure! I took a deep breath and did ‘my thing.’ I drove around and the only thought that kept coming to my mind was to find, “The Other Place Restaurant” we’d eaten at several times. I knew they had good food and quite frankly, this was the only place I really knew about in Salt Lake but wasn’t even sure they’d still be open. I thought, at least we’d get dinner, right? SO we kept driving until I found it. She was so surprised and asked, “how did you find this?” Not until I looked up did I understand what she meant.

On their sign, it showed: Greek, Mediterranean, Breakfast & Brunch.

I found it! During dinner, which was so good, we talked about my intuition. I kept directing the conversation away from it but she kept bringing it back. And then on the drive back to her place, she looked at me and said, “You’re really intuitive! Why are you hiding your gift? You have my permission to be intuitive! 

I couldn’t speak for a few minutes. No one and I mean NO ONE has ever accepted me for me, until that moment. She told me more about her work and her story of knowing she was different and when she stepped into her power. It was a life-changing evening for me! 

Of course, there are many more stories I could share but I won’t, you get the idea, right?

Intuitive gifts come in different forms and different ways, do you know yours? 

Empathic gifts come in different forms and different ways, do you know yours? 

Are you curious about what it means to STEP INTO YOUR POWERFUL GIFTS?

Are you curious about what it means to AMP UP YOUR POWERFUL GIFTS? 

Can you imagine what it’s like to genuinely be heard, understood, and accepted? 

The Restored-Soul event is coming! It’s time to be spiritually refueled, recharged and reconnected! No more hiding! 

Click here if you’d like to be kept updated on

The Restored-Soul Events, coming in 2020

What does it even mean to Love They Neighbor as Thyself?

What do you see in this photo?

I see water flowing effortlessly as a life-giving water source!

I'll use this photo of flowing water as an analogy, speaking about LOVE. 

To fully heal from dysfunctional relationships, you must recognize the power of spirit, flowing effortlessly through you.  AND, becoming aware of Spiritual love, that life giving source that feeds our soul. Both are found looking within!

I shared a quote that holds great impact for me and I felt confident for others. 

These words are powerful! 

Have you ever thought about your life and those who have influenced you?

I know many of you have been born into unhealthy families! I am so sorry this has happened to you. I promise you are not alone! 

This is not a blog post about who had it worse, unhealthy relationships include many factors; abuse of all kinds, rejection, drug addiction, mental illness, to name a few. This is a blog post about HOW to undo the hurt and gain back peace of mind, in healthy ways. 

I grew up with a mother that had an undiagnosed mental illness. Every day, my childhood was confusing. One day, I was loved and cherished. Another day, I was stupid and incompetent.  I could add in other insults like lazy, irresponsible, idiot, ugly, fat, bratty, selfish, and the list can go on. 

I would do my best but instead of progress being celebrated with a "good job!" I was told how much I fell short of my Mom's expectation. Of course, no human being in the world was capable of meeting my mom's expectations because no one was a good as her. 

I could have let the cycle continue, and I did for several years. I grew believing I did something wrong. That, I was the mistake. If I could just figure out how to get my mom to love me then my life would be ok.  My dislike of myself carried over to my children. I treated them like I was treated. It crushes me to admit that! Please know I have offered apologies and healing for many years since recognizing my parental shortcomings.

There is hope and a way out! I recognized my way out when I accepted the fact, I could not draw water from a dry well. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much effort was given, the emotional well, I sought love from was dry. My mom had emotionally disconnected many years ago and I stopped blaming and hating her once I recognized she was not capable of emotional connection. Maybe with others, not with me! I didn't do or do anything that created her emotional disconnection! I sought to understand what was happening and realized there is no understanding of the mental illness. It just is! 

Now, let's talk about how to undo the emotional pain and crush that negative cycle!  

First, I had to get over my anger. I felt abandoned and left to nurture myself on my own. I was mad. How could she just leave me? Think about it like if you had a house to build. That's a huge project, right? How would you feel if you were left to build it on your own? No help, and no support. Yes, I had neighbors that would help out a bit, friends who did their best, but at the end of the day, I was left to do what was necessary.  I was consumed with blame. Life was unfair and it shouldn't have been. I had to figure it out if I was to survive. 

By turning the blame into ownership, I accepted what was. I began taking one step at a time! I developed gratitude for anyone who was willing to teach, love and support me. They became my angels and through appreciation and gratitude, I was able to recognize them. 

Second, I found the, 100% ~ 0% theory! Bringing this theory into my life wasn't easy because I wanted to inflict as much pain onto my mom as I felt she inflicted onto me. Anger turned into a type of revenge.  I was emotionally hurt and that hurt extended to how I treated others. I lacked trust. How could I trust anyone if I couldn't even trust my mom? And because I lacked trust, I became distant and found it difficult to emotionally connect. I was so conflicted! I loved my children so much and knew how I was showing them love was not healthy.  It all shifted the day I saw the anger I felt as a child, in my sons' eyes when he was twelve. He reflected the feelings I buried as a child towards my mom.  That was when I decided right then, my behavior would change! 

By realizing the importance of the, 100% ~ 0% theory, I could stop feeding the resentment I felt towards life, and begin feeding self-care, self-love, and self-acceptance. Little steps! And feelings of accomplishments, no matter how small, grew into bigger steps and bigger celebrations of achievements!

By Loving Thyself FIRST, you can now love your neighbor.  

I learned the hard lesson, I couldn't give to my kids what I didn't have. It became imperative that I learn HOW to love them in a healthy way. And that meant, I had to learn how to love myself in a healthy way! 

To learn more about the 3 Principles of Healing, download your free gift today!