mental illness

Is there such a thing as Eternal Separation?

I’ve had so many thoughts swirling around in my head. You know from previous posts that I spend time analyzing and sorting my thoughts through writing.

Here’s what I know, believing there is Eternal Separation is more harmful to our Spirits than embracing the truth of God’s love for all his children. What does YOUR gospel teach? It can’t be both ways, you must pick. IF you begin saying, “I believe this way IF” or “I believe that way because” …. be careful because you’re adding conditions to my question.

Let me explain. In most religions, the ones I’m familiar with, there’s a belief there’s an afterlife. IF we live ‘good’ lives then we will be granted time with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and God the Father. We will live with them once more. Families are believed to be forever so, IF a family member strays, it’s heartbreaking on a whole new level, likened unto spiritual death. This happens on both sides. If a child strays from family beliefs, their fear of making this choice of forever being separated from their family, whom they love with all their heart is devastating. Even difficult family situations are better to live with than to feel eternally separated and alone. One major reason children hide their behavior from their parents. Fear of being eternally rejected and separated. What is sad is IF they stray, they’ve been taught they are bad, which is shame. Do you feel it appropriate to shame children into obedience? Does God shame us to obey? I don’t believe so, religion maybe, but not God!

Shame on parents for loving their beliefs over their child.

Yes, that is a bold statement but I was one of those parents, so yes, I get this question and I’ve unpackaged it over the years. Today, I’m sharing with you what I’ve learned.

Let’s talk about the word ‘stray.’ It holds the meaning of wandering, leaving the family to worry. IF parents feel they are losing control, because keeping their family members intact is what shows their commitment to God, the stronger they seek to hold on. IF they continue to stray and the parents or family members can’t hang onto them, fitting them in their family box of rules, beliefs, and attachments, then they surrender and begin blaming the person for wandering. It becomes their fault. The common belief is that the person wouldn’t have strayed if they cared about their family, etc. How sad that even has to be a potential thought!

Think of the burden that destroys families believing in eternal separation. Think of the burdens parents self inflict by believing in this eternal separation. First and foremost, YOU are not God. YOU believe what you believe based on how you’ve interpreted the lessons you’ve learned. The religious beliefs you hold, and how they may or may not affect you and your family.

I believe the most damaging is when we connect the word stray with sin. In a way, it justifies and gives us a way to make sense of how we must feel if something doesn’t go exactly how we’ve pictured it.

During my search to understand, to gain some peace back into my life, to be the parent that loves no matter what, I read, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” ~ by Don Miguel Ruiz

I know some would never pick this book up because he states in his first few pages, this is like a new religion. I believe he was striving to state that religion and gospel are two different things. Religion is the organization to create order and manage a large group of people. Much like a family, parents are there to create order and manage their household. The gospel, on the other hand, is the teachings we strive to learn that offer us peace and understanding in this physical world, those teachings that feed our soul. There are gosple TRUTHS and there are believed truths….I’ll get to that, I promise.

The chapter on what is sin stood out. I reread it multiple times to integrate the truth I felt was there. His definition: ‘a sin is when you go against your true self ~ who you are.” What does that mean? Again, I firmly hold the belief we are spiritual beings first, having a physical world experience, thus WHO we are is a spiritual being! When we go against our Divine Self we are sinning. Be careful here as well, because no one knows what agreements they’ve made with God as to their life journey. As a Divine being, we hold and have a Divine nature without any doubts or questions! Period!

When I imagine God’s love or my Divine Self, I can see the duality of energy within us much like a dimmer switch; the light and dark energy that we each hold, and whichever one wins is the one that’s fed. You know those switches that you push up to turn lights on bright, push down to dim the lights and if you pushed it all the way down, the light goes out. Let’s use this analogy. First, no matter how dark it may seem, the power source is ALWAYS connected, right? As Spiritual beings, your divine light can never, and I mean NEVER go out. It can dim but it can not go out. You are always connected to Source! This source, when you go against it is Sin according to Don Miguel Ruiz, which dims your light. How does that feel to you?

Let me separate TRUTHS and truths as I promised for you. IF I asked you where the sun sets, what would you say? Would you say the East, or would you say in the West? Believe me, I’ve heard both answers over time. Your answer is going to be based on what you’ve been taught, what you believe, right? So if I said to you, both of these are wrong answers, you begin to feel the prickle to argue? The TRUTH is the sun doesn’t set, the earth rotates around the sun. The truth is what you believe. Big difference, right?

Back to my original question: Is there such a thing as Eternal Separation?

The TRUTH is NO. We are here in this physical world to do our best with what we know and learn. The truth is based on what you believe. Be careful when judgment is made based on perspective! Nothing but harm comes from that, for all who are involved.

Let’s ask this, so what happens when a child strays? What about a spouse? That child or spouse has come to earth to walk their journey. They’ve come to you to learn what will best serve them. There are no accidents of who cross’ your path. Not ONE person is a mistake or an accident! That path, I believe wholeheartedly, is a path of a Divine nature and no one knows what that path is except the person and God! Yep, even those who may cross your path who may have harmed you (click here for a good read to gain this perspective) AND when most people hear me say this I always get a question in response, “So you’re telling me it’s my fault I’ve been treated like this?” or “So you’re telling me I created this hell I live in?” That’s a topic for another post. Let me say this when you remove the layers of our psychological filters, the TRUTH is our manifested world is a reflection of the story we hold within, those inner truths. If you have more questions, please connect with me at Admin@jodykhill.com

The bottom line shows straying is a journey, right? Going away from the herd mentality of obedience. Obedience to what? Family values or God’s TRUTH? Society’s perception of how relationships should look?

Would you agree, heartache then comes when you feel your loved ones are straying from YOUR journey?

I will send you off with light and love. If you have any questions, please reach out, my goal is to guide you to peace, confidence, and love in all relationships. Remember, this is a post to analyze where TRUTH is found and how it fits in life.

The end result to this question is; It’s a Divine CORE belief there IS no Eternal Separation but our conditioned mind has created the fear around the idea, teaching, or interpretation of Eternal Separation …..

TRUTH or truth?

What Blocks YOU from Shining Your Light? {part 1}

What blocks you from shining your light for others to see? I reflect on Marianne Williamson’s poem, “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Reading her words and asking this question has generated my spiritual journey more profound than words can describe. I am grateful and blessed to have accepted the call to become aware, no matter where that would lead me.

I ask again, “What blocks YOU from shining your light for others to see?”

I know what blocked me most of the time was my fear to be seen. I was fully aware of the pain of judgment. This judgment nurtured boundaries of distrust and disconnection. You see, if I trusted then I was vulnerable. If I connected then I was vulnerable. Knowing I was blessed with introvert-ism, I was able to adjust my spiritual practices to embrace the gifts of spiritual refueling, recharging, and reconnecting. The most significant judgment I knew I had to face was my own. I judged how I was made (why was I so different?) I judged how I spiritually replenished, I fought through many public embarrassments by ignoring the importance of being recharged. Slowly but surely I have experienced the beautiful gift of what if feels like to be spiritually refueled. Also, I have experienced the beautiful gift of connecting to amazing individuals. This is why, now… today… at this moment … the Restored-Soul Retreat has been created.

Now is the time to shift the vibrations of this planet! Today is the time to learn sustainable tools for spiritual refueling, recharging, and reconnecting! This moment is the moment to begin strengthening your inner light to shine brightly for all those who cross your path, without judgment, without fear!

Here’s a warning: If you hear that little voice in your head saying, ‘but I can’t shine my light because of …. ‘ Whatever you add to the ending of, ‘because of …’ please acknowledge right now, that’s blame. Blame is the author of distrust, disconnection, and is the most destructive tool the adversary uses against an introvert (really for any human being, no matter how they recharge!) If, ‘because of … ‘ is another person, blaming and pointing fingers at another human being is a sign for you to ask, ‘what does that other person represent to you?’ because, what they represent is a message to you of what resides within that’s ready to heal. NOW, you’ve become aware of what holds you back from shining your light as brightly as you can!

I am confident you hold deep within your soul the desire to be the best YOU, the best Mom, the best friend, the best spouse, the best ….., whatever you choose you can be, and now I ask more questions? How does that look? What stands in your way? Here’s a hint on the answer …. starts with the letter ‘L’ and is a word in the title.

We live in a time where, go-go-go is a sign of success, importance, and dedication for being your best self. I promise you, as a spiritual being first, having a physical experience, the focus of DO-ing is getting things done, but focusing on BE-ing is becoming your best!

Did you know, Faith nurtures the law of giving and receiving?

Now, during the Covid19 shutdown, your family has the opportunity to learn new behaviors on better ways to interact with each other showing greater compassion and kindness. However, I’m confident, you’ll notice more triggers coming up, deeper frustrations and dislikes flourishing, which is the opposite of love. You find yourself disconnecting to deal with all of it. You find yourself seeking new ways to stay occupied and distracted. It’s becoming clear your old coping skills to get through the day isn’t quite working, is it?

Now’s the time to take inventory of different ways that work – taking time EACH day to spiritually refuel. Does that look like reading scriptures? Does that look like 15 minutes in nature? Does it look like a few minutes of meditation with high-frequency music (852 frequency is my favorite) to ponder how can you best serve yourself and others today? Does it look like ALL of my suggestions? Or none at all? You decide because it’s not a one size fit all! Give your spouse and children time to decide too. Give them opportunities to learn what offers the greatest level of joy in their heart, a few minutes each day. Focusing on inner nurturing and connecting to source, not external activity.

I would plead with you to open your eyes and hearts to realize, as the OLD ways of interacting with each other begin to magnify, take heart and realize why they no longer work during this quarantine! Great words of wisdom, Colette Baron-Reid states, “Love is an exchange of life-force energy between two beings. It grows exponentially when it’s reciprocated. You must give AND receive for love to flourish and abundance to flow between you.”

Remember; You cannot give what you don’t have!

So if you want to give your best, you must be spiritually refueled, recharged and reconnected daily. Kindness, love, gentleness, long-suffering, slow to anger are signs you are spiritually refueled, recharged, and reconnected. NOW IS THE TIME to KNOW who you are and what your soul is seeking!

Connect with us on Instagram: #RestoredSoul5 & Facebook: @RestoredSoul5

Together, we’ve got this!

Love and Light,

Jody K

Do You Ever Feel Like a Bad Mom?

I shared comments on FB, using this ‘quote’ as an inspirational baseline

I felt there was more to share because we as women struggle daily with different challenges. It could be with our children, maybe a spouse, or an extended family, situation or environment. No matter what issue you face, what I have found over the years, is there’s always a common core emotion that shows up in different ways for different people.

Can you imagine releasing that core negative emotion and watch feelings of inadequacy and guilt go away? Beautiful, how do I find it, right!!!

Here’s my story: I was told by my Pediatrician that I was the one that set the tone for our home. SAY WHAT??? He never mentioned that my tone of voice became my children’s inner voice. Yikes!

I left that appointment feeling more overwhelmed than usual. I felt a heavy burden of responsibility on my shoulders. How could that all center on me? I was doing my best and I still felt like I was drowning in motherhood, heck, in life! That statement seriously took many years before the burden I felt subsided. So when I read this ‘quote’ it all came back but now I felt I could share my 20/20 understanding on how I overcame the negative perspective and turned it around to how positive and empowering it is.

Let’s dissect this quote! First, we’ll address yelling. Yelling generates contention. Contention generates anxiety, setting the child’s attitude up to be defensive. Isn’t this what creates a mom’s irritation? Disobedience? Selective listening? So yelling doesn’t stop the behavior, it accelerates it. Can you see where you hold the power card on this one?

Children are learning! They’re also navigating where they fit in the world and within the family dynamics. And likewise, they’re figuring out which vibration ‘fits’ in their home, so be careful, they’ll match what the parent expresses. You know the adage, “Kids follow what you do, not what you say.” They’re like a light dimmer; when parents are happy, they are happy. When parents are upset or angry, they get upset and angry but don’t understand why. This is so important to understand! Can you see how this shows up when parents are in a contentious relationship? The children ‘FEEL’ it first. Faking being happy doesn’t work with kids!

Yelling is an expression of inner frustration. I get it, I was a yeller and a door slammer. My inner frustration was something I couldn’t figure out. It showed up in my tone of voice. My face reflected anger and my tone reflected disappointment to my kids and they’d call me out on it but the sad part is they’d call me out on it when I wasn’t even mad or disappointed. So apparently my face showed a frozen scowl. And my inner frustrations were heard through my tone. My kids make fun of me when I’d answer the phone. I could sound horrible but once I answered the phone, I put a smile on my face, why? Because I heard somewhere your tone would always sound positive if you had a smile on your face when you spoke. My kids call it my phone voice.

The power of this tone of voice idea made more sense when I called a friend and she thought I was her husband. Not a hello to begin the conversation with, it was, “The dishes need to be done, the kitchen needs to be cleaned, the ______ needed to get done.” As I listened, I felt like Cinderella being ordered around by the evil stepmom. Once there was a break and she took a breath I said, “Um, it’s me,” her tone changed instantly! A tone is a valuable tool, use it wisely!

Yelling at your children also sets them up to be frustrated with everyone that crosses their path. Feeling judged and inadequate themselves. So your frustrations, and your inner dialog comes across like second-hand smoke. It shows up in your tone of voice. Everyone who crosses your path is affected. Attitude is important! Attitude is critical!

The most important lesson I learned over the years was that I am 100% responsible for my feelings, my behavior, and my environment. Many disagree with this but I’ve learned the power of this truth! How does it feel when I say, your children hold 0% responsibility to make you happy or sad? What about when you hear, your spouse holds 0% responsibility for your happiness? Now, they can make it easier for you to be happy or sad OR they can make it more difficult for you to be happy or sad.

The difficulty with this theory is we are accustomed to viewing this world from the outside in … meaning, we see life happening TO us. Outside forces affect us which is another way to say we only have the power to react to those outside forces, like a leaf blowing in the wind. No control and no power! We get used to being in victimhood and blaming becomes our coping skill. Right here is where a paradigm shift became my new perspective.

Let’s get into HOW to make this shift. First, recognize you are the one in power of how you react or respond. Period! With that alone, you can become aware of what lies behind the frustrations. Asking, how do I feel?

Here’s an example that happened to me recently: I’m a part-time school bus driver and there had been some issues happening in our district. Parents suing for this or that. Well, we were TOLD there was a mandatory meeting to attend. Ok, I attended and on the way out, some of the administration began saying, “Thank you for coming.” Really? What do you hear? What I heard was an insult. The meeting was mandatory, thanking me was patronizing to my ears. I didn’t have a choice to attend, they forced the meeting on me. Now, if they would have said, “Thank you for making the effort to come today, you’re willingness is appreciated,” This would have complimented me on my character – which of course ALWAYS feels good. Can you see what happens depending on what we hear? When I first heard the insult, I had to take a few deep breaths and ponder why those words triggered a reaction. The words I processed created the feeling of being devalued. I was snippy until I came back aligned to center and realized my value as a human being.

No one has the power to take that away from me. No words hold the power, and no other human being holds that power!

If you only read this part, please know, You are enough, just the way you are. Remember, you are learning too! Give yourself some slack, kindness, and forgiveness. I’m still learning! I am grateful we are blessed with a new day each morning to learn how to be even better today than we were yesterday!

If you would like more information on how to release and undo unhealthy coping skills, send me a message via email. Let’s chat!

Create yourself a fabulous day,

JodyK