What would you say is the key ingredient needed to Restore Trust in yourself?

Click here for photo credit – it’s also a great article

When you see something that speaks to your heart, you spend time pondering it.

I’m going to tell you a little story. Why? Because of a quote I read.

Thank you #empathrefuge for sharing this on Instagram.

I knew the moment I read these words I wasn’t alone. That my life journey set me up to not trust myself because that is how life goes. I had so many life experiences confirming WHY I couldn’t trust myself and with each experience validating that as a truth to my soul for many years.

I am confident anyone who is reading this could share that same statement because their life experiences made trusting difficult too. However, in the end, let’s talk about ways you can release and restore that destructive distrust and safely open up to fully trusting because now you can. Again, I’ll share what set me up and the analytical thinking that got me out of this space. First, here’s the quote that started all this:

Here’s my story of what set me up that took me from zero trust to full trust.

I spend time writing out my thoughts. This shows you what my full trust looks like, um, you’re reading this right? I write to organize my feelings, emotions, thoughts, inspirations … all of it. Where the distrust began is in the irony or opposite of that statement – I’ve never been a strong writer, English is not easy for me. I should clarify, grammar is not easy for me. I think I was in my late 40’s when I realized the words ‘is and are’ meant the same thing but one was singular and the other was plural. I’ve come along way to be in a space to admit that because it was easier to hide that part of my world. My first memory was writing letters, apparently, letters with penpals were expected at seven years old. Of course, my mom began reviewing them because she didn’t want to be embarrassed which ended up with her correcting them. I swear she expected them to be a literary masterpiece and in my head, I was just writing. The idea that I was stupid was planted.

So I stopped (my coping skill).

I stopped for years (holding strong to that coping skill)

Let me take you back to my beginning of what happened after this seed of doubt was planted and how my immature thought processes nurtured this distrust over and over.

From my seven-year-old little girl self, I got by in school. I did much better in math than English. Junior high was when my challenges really showed up. I didn’t keep up, I slid along. Not sure how I passed. Maybe at that time, schools just passed all the students because that is how I remember high school too. I rarely went to my classes, I was good at hiding and not being seen.

It’s still embarrassing to tell this story of my Freshman year in college, I had just turned 18. You see, I ‘tested’ to be in the remedial English class. I wasn’t upset at that because I thought I’d actually learn how to use proper grammar. However, after pouring my heart into an assignment the instructor handed mine back with a very large F on it, then said directly to me while I was in class, “I don’t even know why you’re in here.” Well, that didn’t boost my confidence much. I wanted to run and hide. Do you think I ever wanted to write again? Would you have trust in yourself if you were me?

Why am I telling you all this? What was it about these words, in the quote above, that held such an impact for me?

The impact came because I’m always in a space ready to heal. I continue to have the courage to stop hiding. I AM ready to be heard. My journey has taken me full circle, or so I thought. I have learned to take away blame, blaming all the bad things that happened to me. I’ve overcome procrastination – one of the hardest addictions I’ve had. I had spent years giving up being a victim of my circumstances because I finally got pissed off enough to say STOP! So when I read these words and how they pierced my heart, I knew I had one more layer to release…. damn it!

Seriously, the ‘circle’ only expands, it doesn’t close. Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.

If you’re still reading this, it’s time to ask yourself these important questions:

Do you want to be heard?

Do you want to take ownership of your life and no longer be a victim of your circumstances? Good!

Those feelings are telling you it’s time to tell your inner bully it’s about to get its butt kicked.

Here goes me sharing my analytical mind and my random thinking again, my random-ness that gets my thoughts sorted out. I laugh out loud when I begin because I hear those who will read this and say, “she doesn’t make any sense or that sentence should have had a period, semi-colon, or whatever.” I visualize myself flipping them off – sorry but I am so done being told I’m stupid BUT then I want to hug them because they care… On the flip side, my heart fills with joy and gratitude for those of you who read this with their heart. Maybe you gain something from my random-ness, maybe it gave you permission to just map out your feelings to get an idea of where to start. Either way, thank you for being here!

Let’s dissect this, shall we?

Energetically you know exactly what to do in every situation

First, every time I hear, read, or see the word energetically my mind inserts the word spiritually. Energy = Spirit. Energetically = Spiritually. Can you see why I read the words written but read with my heart; spiritually I know exactly what to do in every situation?

That confirmes I’m on my correct path. I believe with all my heart we come to this earth KNOWING who we are, we have an understanding of what trials and challenges that we will face.

Now the second half: You just question it because you were taught not to trust yourself.

I don’t believe we were just dropped out of heaven, abandoned. Our life was given to parents, some parents are all with it and others are clueless. Some were a cherished gift while others were seen as an obstacle. No matter who your parents are or what they’ve done (yep, even the suckiest and rotten ones out there), they’ve done their best, period! AND …. that holds no effect of who you are and the purpose of why you are here. However, it leads one to that nagging question of why me? Am I right?

I also believe the purpose of this ‘earth’ life gives us experiences with people who play a role in our lives. Every person who crosses our path plays a role, a good or bad one. It all depends on what emotional filters we came with, what challenges we agreed to overcome, and what lessons we are to learn. Lessons are there to teach us. Are your lessons teaching you to trust yourself or not? Maybe the real question is are you distrusting YOU, LIFE, or GOD? Maybe you say you trust God but you don’t trust your intuition. Isn’t God and intuition one in the same?  Let that sink in for a minute. Powerful connection uh?

Read the definition below and see what comes up.

Dictionary’s definition: The feeling that someone or something cannot be relied upon. Doubt the honesty or reliability of; regard with suspicion

For me, I couldn’t rely upon my brain. Therefore, leading me to distrust myself.

As children, we have less life experience to understand how to handle certain situations, therefore, we create coping skills. Coping skills teach us how to handle situations based on the level of understanding we hold. Coping skills gives us something to rely on, something to trust. My coping skill of hiding began as early as that seven-year-old little girl. I didn’t know any different at that time, right? I knew I didn’t like to be judged so I avoided that situation, yep, by hiding. Does that make sense?

What coping skills do you recognize you’ve created?

I liken the idea of coping skills and explain how I see that, mixed with my belief from a story I read in the book, The Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Ecker. His story told of a person typing, printing off the paper, and reviewing it. Once a typo was found, they found ways to erase the typo. They reprinted the paper, but again the typo was found, it wouldn’t go away. His point to this story is you have to erase the typos in the blueprint, not the printout. The printout is your experience, and how you’ve processed it. You can’t pretend these experiences didn’t happen. You don’t have to go back and relive them. But, in the same breath, you don’t have to accept them either.

Here’s the secret on how to correct them. The blueprint is who you really are, the author is the one who originates the paper, right? So, I ask that you go back to source; whatever you call your higher power. I call mine God. I’m confident there are typos, but now you know how to fix them, right? To change the typos you go back to truth, which I call source. The truth you are a spiritual being having an earthly experience. The people in your life, those who have crossed your path have scribbled a bunch of lies on your paper and up to this point, you’ve believed them. Believing them keeps you in victimhood so STOP IT!

Other people are not the author of your story, who is?

Exactly, YOU and your energy, your light source, your higher power.

Here are some suggestions on how to begin shifting your mindset from printout to blueprint … once you do this, healing, understanding, awareness, acceptance all begin to flow through you.

  • Believing you are a spiritual being FIRST gives you the confidence to discern between spirit and ego. Your physical body houses the duality of energy within you. It’s not out there somewhere. It’s WITHIN YOU! Spirit is the author of a higher vibration. The ego is the author of a lower vibration. Spirit is love, kindness, acceptance, and unity. The ego is separation, fear, and conflict. Exercise: You can begin by paying attention to your inner thoughts, how many thoughts do you feel go on the spirit side, how many go on the ego side. This alone is eye-opening. Like an accounting of which energy you lean towards. Take a small notebook with you for a week and separate your pages with a line down the middle; write Spirit on one side, Ego on the other. Be aware, this takes a great deal of awareness, it’s like counting how many times you blink in a day. So if you are an ‘all or nothing’ type personality, you must know you’ll never account every thought you have, because your thoughts happen all day long. Just tally the ones that come to your awareness. Tally as many as you can, there is no right or wrong amount. Once you complete this for a week, it’ll make more sense when you hear me say, please be careful and mindful of your self-talk from now on.
  • Knowing your coping skills hold emotional attachments gives you a clearer understanding of why they are difficult to release. Exercise: write out all the labels you place on yourself. Are you a mother, daughter, aunt, sister? Do you work at home, outside of the home, what is your profession, are you a boss, employee? What labels define YOU? At #restoredsoul5 we go into all this in detail. Join us on Instagram and be the first to get all the details of what we have planned.

That should get you started. Just knowing I have the power to change MY blueprint, and no one has the power or authority to decide my feelings, my perception, or how to feel. That is on me, all of me, and I love that freedom!

How to bring the Invisible Visible; say what?

First I want to thank SammyJ for her blog. You can find her by clicking here. I also added her link to the photo.

My friend, Kristen Holland shared an insight with me that has had me pondering for a few days; “Greatness Lies within all of us ~ sometimes we just need to shift perspective to make the invisible visible to restore peace.”

Here’s what came up for me when I received her text. First, what is invisible that I’m attached too that I still haven’t found. I fully understand I can only heal what I have brought into awareness ~ so here’s my rambling mind:  the invisible is just that, invisible which means I can’t bring an awareness to it because I can’t see it, which means if I can’t bring an awareness to it I’m not able to heal it. If I’m not able to heal it, the pattern remains active.

All this rambling is the justification of my conditioned mind, that ego mind that keeps me in my comfort zone. Once an awareness is brought up, my comfort zone has just become uncomfortable. For me it feels like I’m going to get caught doing something and get in trouble. A huge condition that has stayed with me living with an unstable mother. I never knew when I would get in trouble, I could be doing some thing good or not, it didn’t matter. 

Can anyone relate to this?

We all strive to become a better human. I also believe we all strive to eliminate conflict from our life, as much as possible. Right? We are conditioned to be ‘good’ to overcome our ‘bad.’

During my pondering, I decided I wanted to score my life. Where do I feel I’m at right now. Measuring my level of happiness, my fulfillment, etc. I came up with the #6 out of 10. I have come a long way. I have overcome many challenges. I have went through difficult experiences to get to that #6. 

Where do you score yourself? 

Here’s my point. I am seeking to become even better than that #6. If I have invisible attachments, I stay in my rut. That #6 doesn’t change. 

Remember that saying, “If you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always gotten.” 

That’s my point. The value of bringing those invisible attachments visible is the only way one can begin ‘bettering’ their life, the only way to increase your score of life happiness.  

Here’s a few things I strive to undo … bring the invisible-ness visible so I have the power to shift my perspective in my life. 

I am conscious enough to know there is more to this life. I know there is more happiness to be felt! Now how to find that next step. 

I have grown children and I’m striving to ‘better’ my relationship with them.  Now to learn how to communicate my love to them. 

I had many negative emotions swirling around for years as I was a caregiver and I felt  I was a better person already. I do energy work. I do many things each day that keeps me grounded and feeling ‘lightened,’ if you will. BUT, you see, if I was a better person I wouldn’t have felt those strong negative feelings. Now to continue to embrace my humanness and appreciate what I’ve been given. Remembering this is my life journey not a destination.

I chunked all these thoughts down and what came up for me was, obligation. 

Obligation was the key attachment that NOW is visible. 

Obligation is a sister to expectation. Obligation is like drinking or breathing out of a small straw. It’s difficult to get fully engaged because I’m already struggling to survive. This was where my negative emotions stayed.  

So I said to myself, get a bigger straw. 

Um, duh! You see, I have been figuring out how to survive with that small straw. I would change things up to give me a break, try something new BUT the whole time, it’s still the same small straw. 

Are you getting my point? Is this making any sense? 

What I’ve learned! Bringing the invisible visible, it gets messy. It may not make sense and it may not be logical. That’s how healing is done. It doens’t have to make sense to my conditioned mind, it only has to make sense to my highest self, that divine part of me where all healing resides. 

I know who I am. I know my divine nature. I know that I am a spiritual being first having this physical experience. EVEN KNOWING this, I still have room for growth! 

Follow #RestoredSoul5 on instagram to find a safe space to let go without judgment, expectation or obligation OR check out www.restored-soul.com

Namaste 

{Waking Up ~ on purpose} Love THYself

I read this post on FB and thought I’d share it. After I did, I deleted it. WHY? Because after thinking about it I knew there was more to the story. I fully embrace the importance of acceptance, which I believe was the main point of this message, BUT I also fully embrace the desire to BEcome even better today than yesterday, (which I write about further down) acquiring an even deeper level of acceptance.

I fully embrace healing, learning, growing, empowerment, betterment, improvement, and love ~ whatever you name it.

ALL of which are things to grow into!

Here’s the post that I read on FB ….

Here’s more to WHY I deleted it. The rest of the story…

I have been under a great deal of stress, and I am grateful I am emotionally strong to have endured the level I faced. The stress had been going on for years and I simply did not have the ability to move past it. I had done energy work on myself. I scheduled to work with others, thinking I was too close to the situation to have clarity. I also spent many hours in meditation to lessen the impact my situation was having on me. They ALL worked! Then I felt my solution must be my weight that was the ‘added’ challenge for me, so I went to Integrated Wellness to go on a diet. Consciously thinking this would eliminate one aspect of my stress. My flight or fight hormone was outrageously high and because of this, my body was sending a message I could no longer ignore. You see, I got to the point I simply didn’t care anymore, let alone find acceptance. But what I learned was I COULDN’T care anymore with the state my body was at (another subject for another blog.)

Divine timing is a real thing and wherever you are at, please know you are in the right place at the right time. Life is a journey and an adventure, not an event. Side note: I’m going to use an analogy here. Just think of weight lifting. Say, you want to get stronger BUT right now you can only lift 5lbs. Diving timing is working with that 5lb weight. It is perfect for where you are at, at this time! BEcoming even better and stronger is when life gives you challenges (heavier weights) to practice with. The important message here is to accept each step you take, trusting that the universe is on your side!

Now back to my story. Integrated Wellness put me on an eating plan, not a diet, to begin healing my body. I continue with energy sessions, not to ‘fix’ but to align my metabolic state to serve my highest good (basically, using my analogy, Integrated Wellness is like my ‘trainer’ to advance in strength.) I KNOW, once I am optimally aligned, all things work with efficiency.

True alignment IS full acceptance and love!

Now, that was what I was looking for. This is the part of the message that was overlooked, which therefore prompted this blog post.

So when I read, does my body need more protein? That is looking from the outside in and holds underlying energy of lack. What am I lacking that will make me whole or better is what the universe is hearing within that question, ‘does my body ‘need’ more protein?’ I get others may feel this is splitting hairs or just semantics, but for me, I am seeking to become even better at loving myself and others today than yesterday. To do that, I must tap into Spirit and be guided with true alignment from the INSIDE out for what is required for me to serve the highest good of others. You see, I can not share what I do not have, so striving to love and be love at a deeper level, for me is the journey of clarity I seek. This alone is critical in my work. So healing and aligning my metabolic state was where I began looking, from the inside out.

We all have situations in our life that cause stress. Stress has become part of our everyday life. How we deal with stress shows up in our physical life. The hidden stresses that we typically don’t see rob us of the joy we seek are disguised as questions filled with judgment, therefore, lack.

People will say they’re overweight, or I’m fat? These statements are filled with judgment, because what weight is YOUR weight? I’d suggest looking at this thought as a message your body is trying to tell you. When people hold excess weight, typically this is a sign of hormonal imbalance. Maybe you are hanging onto outdated beliefs that no longer serve you. Are you always tired? There could be cells that have shut down and your body is working inefficiently. Are you in a constant state of judgment towards yourself or others in other aspects of your life? This is a key stressor that creates a huge imbalance between your cortisol levels and Adrenal function. This is directly correlated with healthy weight management.

As an Emotional Fitness Leader, I fully embrace the truth that emotional health is key in becoming fully aligned ~ the other side of mental illness. The positive side we seek for ourselves, friends and our families. When one has the emotional strength, confidence is eminently the outcome!

Today, let’s ban together and create a fabulous day!

Jody K