BLAME is to Blame!

During this time of social distancing (Covid19, 2020), my thoughts and dreams have gone toward facing my family’s challenges. I guess with all this free time I feel I have, my thoughts go toward creating ways to serve them, to teach supporting lessons, or to simply have the time to process the sadness we’ve gone through over this past year. Thus, this blog post. I used the spartan race obstacle for the featured photo because I participated in that race and by far, crawling under that wire was one of the most difficult obstacles I faced.

I’m on the left, my daughter on the right……….. the picture was taken after the finish line!

Blame is a hidden destroyer!

Blame is the seed of divorce, frustration, trauma, hatred, and bad relationships!

Blame is more of a plague than the Covid19 we are faced with this March 2020!

In scriptures, Blame is the flaxen cord (2 Nephi 26:22) that binds us to sin and evil!

Blame is what keeps us separated from our Divine-Self!

Blame negates healing!

Blame is an addiction no one sees!

How does one combat blame?

Together, let’s begin to understand why. Please, email me at to share your thoughts, insights, questions, or concerns. I sincerely would love to hear from you.

Life is about going the distance; “Enduring to the end,” they say.

I firmly believe we are spiritual beings FIRST, having a physical or earthly experience. With that said, our goal in this life is to ‘remember’ who we are, that of a spiritual being, given opportunities to reconnect to our Divine self! Our physical body is the vehicle that houses the duality within, the positive or the negative. This Indian story gives a great description of what is meant by the duality within…The Fight of Two Wolves Within You

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and called ego.” (The author of lies, the wolf of DO-ing, like a never-ending treadmill, addicted to exhaustion and chaos)

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith (The author of love, the wolf of BE-ing, taking the time to spiritually refuel, recharge and reconnect to TRUTH)

The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Let me just say, these wolves in this Indian story look identical, very much like identical twins. That is life’s challenge and the only way to know which wolf you feed is to understand what characteristics each wolf has

The identifying features of one are anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority. This wolf is named EGO.

The other wolf is identified by joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This wolf is named SPIRIT.

The experiences, trials, and challenges we face are taught in this classroom, I call life, for the sole reason being given the gift of choice, to feed our divine self and understand our divine nature, remaining true to who we are versus believing the lies we readily accept from satan, the natural man, or the ego, whatever name you wish to use.

I have fallen into the trap of feeding that damn wolf of ‘DOing’ versus the wolf of ‘BEing’ more times than I’d like to admit but, what got me to shift from the DO-ing to more of the BE-ing was when I understood the wolf I sought to feed was in fact, ‘feeding the Christ within me.’ That Christ’s energy; the energy that is in line with the same purpose as God. That Divine energy, that Creation energy, and that Universal energy of love. I began to own which wolf I fed! Once that lesson finally sunk in I stopped BLAMING the negative side of myself. I then found it easier to identify which wolf I was feeding, because I believed in my true nature!

It took years to overcome but throughout my life, I would force myself to eat, be, and do 100% all the time, blaming my inadequacies, failures, and nourished self-loathing for way too many years! With all that blame, I hurt and my family suffered!

I physically and emotionally hurt!

I’m all about doing even better today than yesterday but when your focus is always on blame and all that you lack, you receive more lack – which in essence is feeding the DO-ing wolf.

You can never DO enough, but you ARE always enough

So I’ll ask, which wolf do seek to feed? Which wolf are you willing to give up to BEcome all you can BE? Remember, what is yours will never be withheld from you as long as you seek universal truth.

Here’s some wisdom from Colette Baron-Reid: “Your authenticity alone will keep you in alignment with the energy of miracles.

I invite you to consider joining us at the Restored-Soul Retreat, a place where you can realign, refuel, recharge, and reconnect back to source.

How does an Introvert stay out of this Blackhole? I’ll share three easy steps on how you can, my fellow introvert, stay away from this slippery slope!

Hello fellow Introvert! 

If you are a true Introvert this picture sparks a pang of truth in your heart. But what do you do about it? Or you may be saying, I'm not in the spotlight but I still feel judged. Let me explain it in greater detail. You see I'm an introvert but many believe I'm an extrovert. The only reason why they beleive that is because I have successfully covered up my introvert-ism. I can function in front of people. I can stay removed from the perceived spotlight as long as I'm prepared. You throw a microphone in my face and ask me a question I haven't prepared for ... I'll go blank (retreat, pull away, hide, you choose the word) everytime! Then this cycle begins for me because the feelings of being judged are overwhelming and it takes a few hours or even days to come out of this blackhole, if I'm lucky. 

I have struggled with my introvert-ism all my life. Umm, da! Of course I have, I fully believe I was born with this beautiful trait. Introvertism holds unseen power and once recognized there are ways to stay far away from this blackhole!

Here's a few ways I've been sucked into that black hole and I'll share with  how I've gotten out! Preferably to STAY out of this blackhole! 

A biggy is talking about success. Most of us desire to be successful, do we not? Success has held many definitions for individuals, some it's money, others it's fame, and others it's achievements. For an introvert, there is an inner conflict, a conflict that can be felt even reading these words.  

Take money: the more money you make usually leads to greater recognition. Higher positions in the company, or even greater sales. Look at the spotlight for the richest in the world! A full magazine story on their life. Talk about the spotlight!

Take fame: the more fame you hold, well, that's probably not going to happen for introverts because the spotlight is filled with judgement. Now, they may become famous but will find a place of seclusion; like J.K. Rowling for example.

For achievements, that's another big spotlight and it's possible for an introvert to become, say a gold medalist, but they quietly master their sport, and perform for themselves over the spotlight.

Taking achievements; for extroverts, the attention is all good! But once that attention feels like a spotlight, it's a downhill spiral to the blackhole. For example, I was a real estate agent for several years. I loved working one on one with my buyers and sellers. That wasn't the tough part. The tough part was to be recognized for my achievements. In the newspaper came a highlight of me being the Agent of the Month. As soon as I seen that, the judgement, that inner critic was set free! Once that inner critic has a voice then expectations appear like huge mountains. You work harder, like a hamster wheel to meet those unseen expectations. Maybe they are expectations you believe are what society expects, or parental approval, or the expectation of your inner critic. 

When an introvert begins losing ways to accomplish those silent expectations (feeling overwhelmed, defeated, not good enough, criticized, etc), the inner drive moves to obligation. Anything that can keep you going but now, resentment begins forming. An introvert gets a little more angry over time because they're feeling used, devalued, unappreciated, or misunderstood.  

WHEW! It then seems like the blackhole of self-punishment, victimhood takes on a weird level of acceptance. The blackhole is a form of rest and seems to force an introvert to stop striving to meet those silent expectations. But then again, this has been a life time pattern for many of us introverts, right? 

You take these characteristics and put them into a relationship, well now that takes on another path that usually doesn't end positive. 

As promised, Here's Your Three easy steps to survive this blackhole! 

Please note, I will use the energetic terminology of Ego and Spirit. This explains how we see our situation. Ego lens focus' on using the world as your value system. The Spirit lens focus' on using the spirit, universe, higher power (whatever you call it) as your value system.  

Step one: Recognize the trigger of the spotlight. First, take a deep breath and relax. The Ego lens IS the spotlight! It feels like we are literally under a spotlight, that spotlight which magnifies every flaw you have! Just think of a magnified lighted facial mirror. Looking into a mirror like that you see your every pore! Then when you step back all you can see are those flaws any time you look in a mirror. And in reality, no one else can. 

Step two: Remove the blame. Blame is the author of judgement. To learn more about this, click here for a free download: 3 Principles for Healing

Step three: Realign your boundaries. Expectations are the boundaries you believe others set, which takes away your power! Your boundaries should hold joy. What makes your heart fill with joy? No more people pleasing! No more being a 'yes' person. Remember, once those expectations are embedded into your belief system, they can quickly turn into the ugly path of obligation.  

All of these three steps, not taken usually turns everyday living into an exhausted event. Then to attempt to explain your situation to another person ... well that just adds to the exhaustion!

What coping skills have you used to 'rest' or to spiritually refuel, recharge, or reconnect to that inner joy? 

I have your answer! 

My friend Kristen and I are creating The Restored-Soul event. This is the place where an introvert can come to do just that: become spiritually refueled, recharged, and reconnected. We are truly excited to finally have an event that allows introverts that space for restoring their soul!

If you feel this is an event to calls to you, Get on the waiting list, now! 

Once the 2020 schedule is up, you’ll get notified and have the first option on which retreat serves you!

Triggers versus Responses; WHY does understanding the difference make a difference?

I found this photo on  More GREAT information!

Every day I learn something new. Everyday, I read something that resonates within me and I become aware of an obstacle that I get to overcome.

Today, I read this FB post from a friend and it resonated deeply within me. When I tell you that after reading, I realized I just finished eating two bags of chips (because they were on sale) while driving to do errands, downed a 44 oz diet coke, came home and enjoyed 5 mini Reese's peanut butter cups, AND finished with four pieces of white toast (Grandma Sycamore bread, the best!) slathered with butter and strawberry jam. Mind you, I ate all of this within an hour. I calculated I consumed over 2000 calories within this hour. 

What the hell did I do all that for?

Was I hungry? Not really

Did I feel good afterward? Not at all!

Why am I sharing this? Because I know I'm not alone!

posted by Sagittarius Mumma

This may represent so many things to different people. I first read this and thought it meant relationships.

When BLAME enters any relationship, love is never sustainable. Resentment, anger, hate, self-hate, self-loathing, lowered self-worth, etc. are what BLAME creates and generates.

In my work, I deal with triggers. I also deal with reactions. Emotions are incredible and they tell a story. If we don't like the outcome of what you're seeing in your manifested world, it's time to look within and find the triggers that create what's happening.

Think of it this way, imagine one of those musical keyboards that have lots of buttons on it. Buttons for different beats, and different rhythms. You push the button of what you want to hear. IF you don't like that sound you turn it off. Once it's turned off, no more sound, right?

Triggers are those buttons and Reactions are the sound or the story we have created to create this manifested outcome. If you don't like the outcome, turn the trigger off.

Can you see how important it is to understand the difference?

Triggers are what compels us to act. Without logic, without reason. Triggers are ignited by emotions. Like an explosion, they are self-sabotaging and there's nothing anyone can do once it goes off but clean up the aftermath.  

The emotional triggers that compelled me to eat as I did, is a non-conscious pattern that I've developed and I sabotaged my health. You add my addiction to sugar on top of that and I have a double whammy to overcome.

Are you an addict, an addict of any kind? IF Yes, then you have triggers

Are you overweight? IF Yes, then you have triggers that are stopping you from becoming healthy. Weight is NOT an indicator of health!

Are you depressed, or anxious? IF Yes, then you have triggers

Do you have an explosive temper? IF Yes, then you have triggers.

Do you have relationship issues? IF Yes, then you have triggers.

Now, how do we get rid of them ~

First, becoming aware you have triggers is the first step

Second, you choose happiness over yearning for it.

Removing triggers is done through energy work. There are many modalities and you are welcome to connect with me if you have any questions. IF it serves your highest good to work with me then we will connect.

Can you imagine how freeing it'd be if you released the shackles of emotional triggers? IF YES, then let's get some work done!

Resource for Trauma:  

Resource for Abusive Relationship:

Resource for Addiction:

Resources for weight management:

​ ~ or watch on Netflix 

Prime Video Movie: FED UP