How do you imagine your life?
Are you looking for a better relationship?
Are you looking for greater wealth – the hunt for success?
Are you looking to feel better physically?
All good questions and the easiest way to get to what you truly want is to ask, what stops you from getting it?
When you answer these questions with what stops you, you actually see into what you blame, in most cases.  I have found that Blame is a killer of hope and dreams. In my opinion, Blame has become an epidemic, keeping our eyes closed to who we truly are! Standing with confidence and owning your choice is the only way out and up!
Here are real stories from clients:
1. I want to become higher up in my MLM business. I am doing all that I am asked to do but I feel stuck. How can I go higher?
They answered these same questions above, and the most popular answers to what stops them showed up as, my kids and husband. I’m a mom and have lots to do with a husband who doesn’t appreciate me OR I have a husband who doesn’t support me.
This is a common answer – being a mom is busy. However, please remember, we teach others how to treat us. So if you are not supported, is it because you won’t let them or is it because they are simply disinterested? Your answers are based on your opinion, Please, don’t be assigning their motive without asking and seeking to understand. That is unfair to everyone!
How do you balance this and grow a business?  First, this area, ya need to be kinder to yourself.  You are still a good mom for asking! You are still a good person for asking! There is also a time and season for everything.  With that said, if you feel prompted and guided to make a difference in the lives of yourself, family, and this world, you are in the right season of growth. Now is the time to take proactive steps into an organization mode and create solutions.  Again, what stops you from growing your business? Time? What steals that time? Your children or your choices?
Again, here’s a fine line that you walk. Houses need to be cleaned, meals prepared, clothes to wash, and attention given to many. How do you organize all this? Well, if you can’t hire a ‘cook’ to cook four days out of the week then you must spend the time and prepare the meals ahead of time. Have you heard about freezer meals? I spent one weekend a month, baking, boiling, and grilling meat. That was half the battle and cut my time in half! Then I put most meals together and froze them. Some of my staples were: spaghetti, chicken and broccoli casserole, hamburger pie, Roast, Pork Roast, chicken enchiladas, beef stew, taco meat, etc. For example, I would brown my hamburger and add my tomato sauce for spaghetti and then freeze that, making noodles the day of the dinner was easy and fast. Same with hamburger pie, or taco meat. I simply premade the main ingredient. I would roast multiple roasts at a time then freezing the serving size I knew my family needed for a meal. I know this is not a blog about meal prep but I wanted to give you an idea of what I was talking about and what I know actually works.
What about hiring a cleaning person (yes your child can be in charge of their space to teach them personal responsibility – they don’t have to be in charge of the entire house. That is way too exhausting!) Hire and spend time with an organizer – become efficient. Take your laundry to a cleaner that delivers. So many ways you can remove a ‘blame’ to become who you imagine! Be creative. Speak with your spouse, they may be willing to take on a few of these responsibilities, if not, find people that will! PLEASE, don’t expect others to do this FOR you. You are in charge, OWN the responsibility for what works. This isn’t about being selfish and only doing what YOU want without regards to anyone else, it’s a game of negotiation to figure out what works for everyone! It’s about being efficient and what IF your family members are not on board? It’s your time to create an environment with appropriate boundaries of what does work for you. Even if that environment is a small space you call your office!
2. What if you seek advancement into a career? Same scenario, different method, but now you have business politics to deal with. Again, ask what stops you from being the best version of yourself? I’m confident there may be more training, more time spent at the office required, more time away from the ‘household’ duties that one feels they must do. Again, find solutions to create the life you imagine. I know the debate of quality versus quantity time with children has been going on forever. However, if you seek divine guidance you will be guided to what best serves everyone! An idea: schedule out a day or a couple of hours per child per month to spend giving your full attention, reconnecting, and catching up. I am confident children prefer a happy mom versus an obligated on.
Ok, this all sounds good but what if you lack the personal motivation to really create all this? Are you thinking about money right now? Are you liking the idea but wonder where the money will come from? Have you thought about hiring a life coach? Have you thought about working alongside an accountability partner?
What if you hold grudges towards your spouse or parents and continue the blame game? I promise you may still go in the right direction, just slower. Either way is fine, that’s a personal choice.
Here is a comment I read from another blog that I felt said it best. Anne F. stated “You can and must only forgive yourself which is simply to LET GO of your negative emotions about someone – take a deep breath – and stop blaming them for your feelings. The other person is just a trigger and whatever the action is you feel that was perpetrated against you is something that occurred in DIVINE ORDER – as painful as it might feel. And when you LET GO, you will feel better. Hate kills even tho there is no death, and we still can do a pretty good job of torturing ourselves if we don’t release the negative emotional charge. As long as one holds onto resentment esp., it will eat you alive because your body WILL become very dis-eased – like oh the most dreaded condition: cancer.
Please, spend a few minutes and really answer these questions…
Who do you want to be?
What do you need to believe, in order to have the life you want?
Can you imagine the kind of life you desire?
You were gifted with the power to imagine. IF you can dream it, you can create it. Likewise, what you think about, you bring about. This is an area to be mindful of what your energy focus’ on. Do you hold emotional seeds of resentment? Do you hold emotional seeds of lack? Do you hold emotional thought patterns of blame? If you answer yes to any of these, then it’s time to take Anne F. advice, let it go! It’s time to forgive yourself for allowing blame to take over. It’s time to stand with confidence and acceptance of the divine order of things.  You are where you are because of your life experience, now is the time for change and growth!
Awareness is the gift, ownership is the magic! 
Spend time day-dreaming, creating a vision board with the ‘feelings’ you are seeking. If it’s happiness, what emotional pictures represent happiness to you? If it’s wealth and success, what emotional pictures represent wealth and success to you? Create FEELINGS around what you are looking for and imagine how that feels. What you imagine will become your belief, and soon you will see these things manifested in real life! In real time!

Create yourself a fabulous day,

Jody K


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