{Blog: Waking Up~ on purpose} What the Hell just Happened?

What the Hell Just Happened?

Does Life feel heavy at times?

It does for me.

What I mean by that is, there are so many emotions that I consider heavy, we hear them called heavy burdens. And this life is filled with emotions! Some are not as heavy as others but, overtime if many hit you all at once, and they become overwhelming.

Take Grief. Grief is an emotion that holds many emotions in one; such as heartache, despair, separation, detachment, loss, etc. All rolled up into one descriptive word ~ GRIEF! Difficult to unravel, but possible!

What about Anguish? Anguish was a heavy emotion for me. This word holds many emotions too; such as hurt, isolation, distrust, rejection, etc. I held onto anguish for many years until it literally felt like it was crushing me. This picture depicts how it felt. Any moment I was going to let go! But yet, I was scared to let go. I thought of all the pain I’d cause in the wake of letting go.  Wowzers! I was holding up the world and didn’t even realize it.

The reason these feelings hurt so bad is that they are foreign to our spiritual being.

Does anyone get a sliver? When you do, it hurts! Why does it hurt? Because your body recognizes something foreign in your physical body and begins to react. When we shift our understanding to who we already are, then we recognize these ill-fitted emotions are lies, much like that sliver – our spiritual self is telling us, that something foreign has entered our spirit.

Emotional Fitness ~ what is that? Well, it’s strengthening your mental health; allowing you to better handle the stressors of life, easier! How do we do that? We begin to learn how to shift our understanding of emotions. It’s learning what is true to our spirit or what is a lie that is causing pain.  It’s being emotionally strong. Emotional strength gives you a better chance to handle heavy emotions, like, grief and anguish.  What about self-doubt? or worthlessness? Strengthening our ’emotional self’ gives us greater confidence we’ll survive.

Liken Emotional Fitness to physical fitness. We work out to build muscles to become stronger, right? Even to create greater stamina overtime to get through the day easier. And, doesn’t it feel better to participate in life activities with greater ease? Activities like relationships, parenting, employment, aging, or money management versus debt.

Well, think of Emotional Fitness like that analogy above; life gives us a workout, right? When you find yourself tired, it may be due to emotional distress. Just like a muscle strain, those heavy emotions are the cause of distress. If we don’t give ourselves permission to take a break, we keep straining to stay above insanity.

In Psychology, we hear the word ‘stress.’ Stress over time generates dis-ease. We live and cope as best we can but in the long run, if we learned how to handle these heavy emotions, can you see how high stress could be eliminated? Much like exercising to lower blood pressure. Consistent high-stress levels generate mental illnesses, a couple of them are depression or anxiety.

Emotional Fitness is a field not many pay attention to! Take the label, mental illness. It holds the belief of weakness.  I disagree! Emotional Fitness is a new beginning to shift our paradigm and become better equipped to mentally survive.

You are NOT weak! You are not inadequate! You are an amazing human being that is here on this physical planet to learn. I call earth life, our classroom of life. We are learning how to navigate in a world of opposites, a world of emotions, a world of hardships.

You’ve got this!

Is it time to schedule an energy trail session? Releasing heavy emotions to gain a breath of emotional fresh air. Sessions do not dredge up what caused the emotions, they release them.  Message me with any questions or concerns at admin@jodykhill.com

Go create yourself a fabulous day!

Jody

 

 

{Blog: Waking Up~ on purpose} Letting Go or Hanging On?

Letting Go or Hanging On?

Letting go of negative behaviors is what we hear often and strive to do, right? In my profession, bringing awareness to negative emotions is the goal, which leads to the ability to let them go. Strengthening our divine light, is then, the ultimate goal.

I drew the ‘Time to Go’  Oracle card, from the Wisdom of the Oracle deck by Colette Baron-Reid this morning. It weighed heavily in my heart because lately, I’ve had many conversations around the theme of divorce. Grief is a significant emotion that happens, but not readily known, that goes along with divorce. Not just parents suffering, but children, and grandparents are ALSO affected and suffering!

  • There are many books on the subject
  • Lots of friends who share their divorce stories telling how they got through their dark time
  • Family members who may have or currently are going through this challenging time and you become part of it.

I’m asked, “How do I know I’m doing the right thing?”

I’m not asked because I’ve experienced divorce, however, people ask me to take them back to the basics.  An emotional sorting, of sorts. That’s what I do and I’m passionate about improving healthy relationships.

For today then, I’m going to share what I do know and ask that you relate this to your situation. If you have more questions that come up, feel free to email me at admin@jodykhill.com or set up a time to chat. You are not alone and I promise, even in the heaviest and darkest time, there is always light, and together, we can find it!

When to let go: If you find yourself in a situation where you are not safe, then leave. If you are in a place where you believe your children are not safe, please leave. It takes courage to leave and when you do, celebrate your courage versus beating yourself up on how long it took.

Another key element to watch for is IF your relationship is one-sided. Meaning, is only one of you working towards becoming your best? You can not change another human being, you can only change yourself. You may have entered into some bad relational habits that create heartache, resentment, hurt, or anger. Are you alone in seeing these patterns as negative? Are you alone in working to resolve these negative patterns? If yes, I’d suggest a time out. A time to gather your wits about you and a time to seek spiritual guidance. Both parties contributed to these negative relational patterns, maybe only one of you is ready to own the contributions made. If yes, this is a one-sided relationship and it will continue to be stuck. A couples counselor works towards giving each party space to grow and learn healthier patterns.  If one refuses to be counseled, again, that shows the relationship is one-sided.

Remember, we teach others how to treat us! Instead of asking why or how can I stop this, I’d be asking, where did I nourish self-hate? self-dislike? Why is distrust showing up in my life?  Why is rejection showing up in my life? Why do I reject love? These negative emotions (feeling like attacks) are a view of your inner beliefs. Once your inner beliefs heal and change, your manifested world changes; then peace and love is what remains.

This verifies a significant point in your life where you know you are at the end of one journey and haven’t started into the next. Please note, to let go means it’s the end of a negative journey. When the person remains in your life, and you work on ‘letting go’ of the negative, you’re dissolving the emotions surrounding it. When you just ‘let go’ of the person or relationship and don’t see them on a daily basis, doesn’t mean the negative emotions that you are striving to ‘let go’ of, has gone away. You’ve just masked them, like putting a bandaid on an infection.

If you have already decided to walk away and let go of your relationship, then there is no reason to keep reading. Remember, if you have decided the only way to be released from a bad relationship is severing it, then be prepared to continue these negative patterns within all your relationships.

Maybe you’ve grown and your partner hasn’t, up to this point. Be careful, your walking away is then defined by conditional love. Your decisions are filled with judgment because you are now judging when and how growth for others are acceptable.  Forgiveness has not been reached in your heart, which allows fear to seep in;  now decisions are based on past behavior, not current resolution or spiritual growth.  Does this require earning trust back, absolutely! Please be mindful and prepared to watch your actions because others you love are, mainly your children, will follow in your footsteps of heartache and conditional love!

Until you learn healthy ways to communicate, plus a willingness to receive love, no one or nothing will change for you. Like the adage, ‘it’s always greener on the other side!’ Well, that may be true, but you still have to water the ‘other side.’ And if you have not learned how in a healthy, positive way, nothing will ever get ‘greener.’

When to hang on: This becomes a time to move on to new experiences and a new way of Being! When you realize you’ve learned your lesson and the form of your relationship is no longer desired, you have the ability to recreate a healthy one. The time to hang on is when BOTH parties recognize they are ready for a new way of BEing!  A healthier way of BEing is the goal, and in a space to relearn how to communicate through love and respect.  Let me add this here; IF there is a spirit of blame, this is NOT a healthy communication skill.  I have counseled many couples and I stop instantly, when all I hear is, “IF they stop doing ________” or “They ALWAYS do _________!” These are simple examples of unhealthy communication in any relationship. People have told me they are simply being realistic using this language.   A great book for greater details is, “The Anatomy of Peace” by Arbinger Principles. A great paradigm shifter!

There is a power within the yin & yang of life. Taking time to heal from self-hate, and self-dislike, literally coming together as NEW, and reborn through a spiritual journey.  Owning one’s own behavior and healing one’s self is the key to knowing sincerity and the effort is real.

If appropriate to hang on, I promise you the new journey you recommit to holds amazing strength and power. All the things you wished for but felt stuck and untouchable, become clear and touchable! Learning and nurturing healthy emotional patterns allows you to soar to new heights. This is also one of the greatest gifts you can give to children. They learn the possibility and power of love. Spiritual love and acceptance!

Go create yourself a beautiful day and relationships!

Jody K

{New Blog} Love Health

What does Love Health mean?

Ask it this way, what is Healthy Love?

I choose this picture because it shows the value of receiving love. In the scriptures we hear about a ‘broken’ heart and contrite spirit. Not that your heart has to break out of tragedy, but for me, it means your heart is given opportunities to open and receive love and light, through the gift of tragedy.

Elder Bruce D. Porter, Of the Seventy, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints wrote: “Those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit are willing to do anything and everything that God asks of them.”

I agree but would like to add some clarity to his statement….

The willingness = receiving-ness.

Being humble and teachable; ‘willing’ to receive guidance. Spirit guidance is an amazing gift! And, the Everything that God asks = receiving all that God has, which IS love.

Our heart is the receiving portal for love!

Our heart is the giving portal for love!

The yin and yang of life; Love comes IN and love is shared. What a beautiful plan!

What happens when we shut our hearts down? What happens when we close our hearts to love? I believe, we become emotionally weak. I liken emotional strength to physical strength.

Love then, could be called an emotional muscle

Think about it, isn’t it awesome when you can pick up a heavy object without thought or concern. You feel great! You feel empowered! You feel accomplished! All because, YOU can! Now think of a heavy problem or concern; when you are emotionally strong, you can pick it up, and deal with it.  All because you can!  What a difference emotional strength can be! IF you are ready to amp up the love that is showing up in your life,  answer these questions and write down your answers, then let’s talk about them.

What stops you from receiving love?

What limits you from receiving love?

What blocks you from receiving love?

When you are ready, let’s get together and figure out what emotional filters you created to stop the flow of love. Let’s figure out what is keeping you from experiencing the love you desire. I’m not talking about sexual love, as that is one aspect of it. I’m talking about the fulfilling, emotional love that fills life with joy, peace, and confidence.

Isn’t time you begin living the life you imagine?

Jody K