INner Reflection

As an introvert, I process emotions differently. In fact, most people see me as ‘tense’ when I feel the need to go within to heal, to process, or to recharge. I guess I have that look of ‘I’ll bite your head off if you talk to me” or “Speak and I’ll hurt you” kinda look. I’m not tense, mad, upset, or angry, I simply require alone time to process what’s happening within. I am looking forward to The Restored-Soul event coming to fruition, literally creating a space without judgment, without expectation, for any and all introverts to participate. Wear or bring whatever look you have and when the time comes for you to heal, recharge and reconnect, you are welcome. You are loved, accepted, and protected!

A couple of days ago, my Mom passed away. I will write another blog post about that, maybe, but what I want to focus on today is the healing that was granted to me, through inner reflection and why it connects to procrastination.

I read an article on FB stating the reason people procrastinate was to avoid feeling the emotion that goes with accomplishment. Interesting! I’m going to rephrase the word accomplishment to core emotional patterns. Procrastion for me looks and feels more like pressure. I am usually not a procrastinator BUT when it comes to feelings, apparently I am and I feel that through feeling pressured.

I was holding a great deal of emotional stress the few weeks before my Mother’s passing and when I finally received the call she had officially died, it was a tremendous relief. She was in a state of mental and physical turmoil and for that to end was a relief that I was grateful for!

I took the next few days to process and understand what role my Mother played in my life and what core emotion I was avoiding … yep, this is where the procrastination comes in. I was in that suffocating space and the stress had to be released! It was affecting me physically and something had to give.

Because I only dealt with my frustrations, procrastination led me to feel emotionally constipated overtime. I couldn’t process it anymore, so I caved and scheduled my favorite massage person, Stephanie, and together we worked through my blocked emotions. 

My relationship with my mother was not one of a loving mother/daughter relationship. I grew up with a Narcissistic mother, and if you know anything about this personality disorder, they show up to others in whatever capacity needed to be admired. Over the years, I also believe she acquired multiple personalities, which added interesting twists to an already crazy situation. And within the last 3 years, her dementia accelerated quickly and created another dynamic that seemed impossible!

I am asked by many people how I grew up to be a normal adult. Well, as I began to understand the journey I was on, the healing aspect of knowing we are spiritual beings first, having a physical-earthly experience was key. My reference was reading the parable of the little Soul by Donald Walsch which touched my soul! This knowledge showed me she was playing a role in my life, invoking emotions that I was to learn to overcome. Now life made a lot more sense.

I know, in my conversation with God before I came to this earth, I asked to learn, TRUST. I knew I was a spiritual being, and I knew I accepted the gift of coming to this physical world to learn how to acquire this spiritual gift, Trust. I’m going to skip the 60 years of experience I could go on and on with that validates all the dis-trust I felt and experienced but those are all justified through my physical eyes, not my spiritual eyes.

I stayed distracted and procrastinated addressing these emotions and I handled the triggers within our relationship with coping skills by mastering Pride and control. I felt I had more ‘light’ than her, which is definitely Pride. What a lie, the opposite of love and acceptance! And then control, I used my excuses like me being an introvert to stay away from situations. Wow! All I can say is wow! When my eyes were open and I was OPEN to receiving clarity, I could see that trust was the core emotion that was encased in pride and control. My heart was encased with pride and control as those survival skills I learned along the way.

Can you see why I am so grateful that my Mother played this role in my life? She did play it perfectly!  But only recently, through my unblocking of stuck emotions, I could finally see her divine self and acknowledge that role with appreciation and love in a greater capacity. I now fully know who she is, so my gratitude grew immensely through that understanding. All the hurt, anger, hatred, guilt, and frustrations dissolved like sugar in water.

I stand as a witness that I am a spiritual being first having a physical experience. This beautiful plan we call life, Yes, those physical experiences are placed on our path to invoke choices through emotions. People play a role, just like they play character roles in the movies, and those roles invoke emotions as we watch and live. We can liken those roles and emotions throughout our life to the situations that come before us. For example; I can understand and relate to an abandoned child, and the courage they have to keep on going, sharpening their street smarts to navigate amongst adults in a crazy world. I can relate completely with that character. 

What I know is we have people in our lives to teach us things we’ve asked to learn.

I also know we each hold a unique spiritual blueprint, we all have psychological filters that filter all the information and emotions that we process in life, the good, bad, and ugly stuff! 

I also know everything happens for a reason and divine timing is a constant! You are exactly where you are meant to be, even if that is in the depth of chaos or ugliness. 

I also know, without a doubt, there’s a way out!

I can show you, I can teach you, but first, you must be ready. No one can force you to create a better life, no one is responsible to create a better situation for you. YOU ARE! and when you’re ready, you know where to find me … www.jodykhill.com

Namaste … and remember forgiveness is a powerful first step

{Blog: Waking Up~ on purpose} Faith

Have you Honored FAITH today?

When I meditate and ask for direction, I ask for specific guidance. I have so many ideas, thoughts, and responsibilities happening all at the same time, that I request guidance specifically for what serves my highest good and the highest good for all, that specific day. I have witnessed miracles in my life, awe-inspiring experiences with my family, relationships, business building through creation energy, or simply an understanding to make sense of life’s chaos by following this one practice.

Here’s an example;

After several conversations today trying to sort out a situation I’m facing with my aging Mother, this is what I read, “There are conditions brewing in your life that you have no control over…Even if the storm blows away the structures you think you’ve built your dreams on, all will turn out as it should.”

This hit home! It’s like a visual answer to my pondering. Why? Because I am being taken out of a situation that I have controlled for many years. My first thoughts were I must be failing because I can’t do this anymore. IF I was better at this or that, I’d have the answers. Always, the negative comes up first, but over time, I recognize truth. I call this my come back rate. The negative begins to swirl around in my head, and I know now that I have the power to say, STOP! I can look around and see and feel truth easier each time. Spiritual truth FEELS calm, peaceful, and empowering.

Here’s a weird analogy to share with you what it’s like for me. I put faces to all my responsibilities, business creations, and ideas and when I begin asking for specific guidance, I visualize each one of ‘them’ seeking my attention, yelling, “Pick Me!, Pick Me!” This is the epitome of the chaos and confusion I feel. This is when I stand in confidence and know I have the power to say, STOP! Then all the ‘talking’ quiets down, giving me a chance to look around to what guidance I’m being given. ‘Who’ am I to listen to? ‘Who’ needs my attention today? Which idea, responsibility, business creation, serves my highest good today? What serves the highest good of others? Then ….

I listen

When it’s quiet, I ask Spirit (Heavenly Father for me) for direction.  I state what it is I am seeking to accomplish that day and soon clarity comes. You see, I KNOW Spirit understands the bigger picture. I trust in Spiritual guidance and have learned what that feels like. I am not demanding answers, I’m asking to be shown the answers and guidance. I keep my eyes open during the day and hold the spirit of acceptance, no matter what it is.  Like when I am guided to ‘apply’ for a job that I have no intention to take, I still complete the task because I’m following and trusting there is a reason. Having FAITH and practicing FAITH, is part of my spiritual preparation, step by step, strengthening my Divine Self day by day.

I have experienced many miracles! Spirit shows me, directs me, and answers my heavenly pleas with guidance and direction in kind and sweet ways. I have learned the importance of trusting and following. Trusting in the spirit, which is a non-tangible substance, requires FAITH each day. No matter how many times you have experienced miracles in your life, FAITH is still required for the next one. Maybe you name spirit; God, energy, your Moral Compass, or universal source. Either way, it’s the higher power I have come to understand at a deeper level than ever before. I don’t see it, I feel it! Thus why I titled this post, honoring faith.

Faith is something one puts complete trust or confidence in. Religiously speaking, faith holds a strong belief in God, rather than proof.

Faith is something we hope is true but yet remains unseen.

Honoring your divine spiritual nature means that you hold a clear understanding of who YOU are! Each of you ARE divine beings having a physical experience, becoming emotionally stronger day by day, step by step with an end goal of strengthening your inner light!

Ok, writing is my therapy, and my analogies are like art. Writing assists me in sorting, feeling, and shifting all of them.  I have been dealing with heavy emotional situations lately and I find myself more tired than I ever remember. It’s like I’m dreaming of the ‘good old days.’  The days when I had emotional stamina. Using the analogy above, the ‘good old days’ were like when a group of teenage girls was talking all at once ~ you’ve all seen that, right? I could keep track of all that was said, by everyone. Back then, I could take on anything put in my way. As I look back, I’m sure I could as they were lighter situations. Now, I’m stronger and given heavier challenges.  Now it feels like the teenage girls have grown up and still talking all at once but about life-changing situations, yelling for an immediate solution. Much more difficult to follow. It feels more difficult. It takes me longer to sort through.

This blog picture represents walking through the refiner’s fire. I don’t know if any of you have ever been close to a bonfire, but I have and they are very hot. I had to stand several feet away from the fire because the heat was so intense. In my current situation, I feel I am losing control. I admit, I may be totally delusional in believing I had any control, up to this point.

The more control I feel I give up, the closer to the fire I go. No wonder I am conflicted with resistance. No wonder why any of us become resistant. Getting to close takes us out of our comfort zone for sure. Our comfort zone boundaries are like this fire. Each side is HOT!

Greater faith is required. A saying, I hold dear to my heart says, “where much is given, much is required.” I have always felt these words resonated with my spiritual growth but now I’m gaining clarity of the depth these words hold. I have been given incredible spiritual gifts in which my heart swells with gratitude. All I can say is, “BRING IT ON!”

Honoring faith is honoring my divine self. That inner light, I call spirit that resides within.  I pray more people will come forward and be willing to take the steps towards recognizing the power they hold, the powerful human beings they are!

Are you ready to step up and claim your spirituality?

Create yourself a fabulous day!

Jody K

 

{Blog: Waking Up~ on purpose} What the Hell just Happened?

What the Hell Just Happened?

Does Life feel heavy at times?

It does for me.

What I mean by that is, there are so many emotions that I consider heavy, we hear them called heavy burdens. And this life is filled with emotions! Some are not as heavy as others but, overtime if many hit you all at once, and they become overwhelming.

Take Grief. Grief is an emotion that holds many emotions in one; such as heartache, despair, separation, detachment, loss, etc. All rolled up into one descriptive word ~ GRIEF! Difficult to unravel, but possible!

What about Anguish? Anguish was a heavy emotion for me. This word holds many emotions too; such as hurt, isolation, distrust, rejection, etc. I held onto anguish for many years until it literally felt like it was crushing me. This picture depicts how it felt. Any moment I was going to let go! But yet, I was scared to let go. I thought of all the pain I’d cause in the wake of letting go.  Wowzers! I was holding up the world and didn’t even realize it.

The reason these feelings hurt so bad is that they are foreign to our spiritual being.

Does anyone get a sliver? When you do, it hurts! Why does it hurt? Because your body recognizes something foreign in your physical body and begins to react. When we shift our understanding to who we already are, then we recognize these ill-fitted emotions are lies, much like that sliver – our spiritual self is telling us, that something foreign has entered our spirit.

Emotional Fitness ~ what is that? Well, it’s strengthening your mental health; allowing you to better handle the stressors of life, easier! How do we do that? We begin to learn how to shift our understanding of emotions. It’s learning what is true to our spirit or what is a lie that is causing pain.  It’s being emotionally strong. Emotional strength gives you a better chance to handle heavy emotions, like, grief and anguish.  What about self-doubt? or worthlessness? Strengthening our ’emotional self’ gives us greater confidence we’ll survive.

Liken Emotional Fitness to physical fitness. We work out to build muscles to become stronger, right? Even to create greater stamina overtime to get through the day easier. And, doesn’t it feel better to participate in life activities with greater ease? Activities like relationships, parenting, employment, aging, or money management versus debt.

Well, think of Emotional Fitness like that analogy above; life gives us a workout, right? When you find yourself tired, it may be due to emotional distress. Just like a muscle strain, those heavy emotions are the cause of distress. If we don’t give ourselves permission to take a break, we keep straining to stay above insanity.

In Psychology, we hear the word ‘stress.’ Stress over time generates dis-ease. We live and cope as best we can but in the long run, if we learned how to handle these heavy emotions, can you see how high stress could be eliminated? Much like exercising to lower blood pressure. Consistent high-stress levels generate mental illnesses, a couple of them are depression or anxiety.

Emotional Fitness is a field not many pay attention to! Take the label, mental illness. It holds the belief of weakness.  I disagree! Emotional Fitness is a new beginning to shift our paradigm and become better equipped to mentally survive.

You are NOT weak! You are not inadequate! You are an amazing human being that is here on this physical planet to learn. I call earth life, our classroom of life. We are learning how to navigate in a world of opposites, a world of emotions, a world of hardships.

You’ve got this!

Is it time to schedule an energy trail session? Releasing heavy emotions to gain a breath of emotional fresh air. Sessions do not dredge up what caused the emotions, they release them.  Message me with any questions or concerns at admin@jodykhill.com

Go create yourself a fabulous day!

Jody