How an Introvert FILL’s their Imaginary Emotional Pitcher. The answer may shock you!

"You can't pour from an empty pitcher." "To fill up your pitcher with the spirit, one must remove self." And there is more because this is a popular subject. I've added a few of the links that wrote around an empty pitcher. They each have their take on it. One is about family dynamics. Another one is about removing self (which my language says, remove the Ego to be filled with the spirit. First off, the ego plays an important part in this physical world so managing it is a much better spiritual teacher than removing it, in my opinion) Another is directed at moms, giving them permission to fill their cup too. However, this blog is specific to how an introvert fills this imaginary emotional, spiritual pitcher.

Imagine the scenario of you holding an empty pitcher, what needs to be done to 'fill it? Exactly, putting something IN to fill it.

We can visualize 'filling' it with spirit, but then why do we still feel empty?

We can visualize filling it with love, but then why do we still feel empty?

We can visualize filling it with service, but then again, we feel empty!

I have used this visualization for years and it's done a good job for me. I 'fill' my empty pitcher with self-love or self-care. You know the basics. If I'm not prepared, I'm not able to serve those around me. I've held onto the saying, 'I can't give what I don't have. " That for me means I can not give love without feeling loved. I can't give to others if I'm empty. So all that self-care is to love myself with what fills me with joy. I can't be there for others if I'm not there for myself. You get the visual, right?

Then it hit me WHY it feels like my pitcher is like a boat with a hole in it, water keeps seeping out and all my energy is looking for that damn hole!

Now we can get into specifically what does all this mean for an introvert?

Think about it! Would an introvert begin yelling for people to come to help find the hole in their boat? I don't think so. Just visualizing me yelling for people to come help me brings all sorts of anxiety. First, a judgment is straight out of the gate as to why there's a hole. Second, the time it would take to explain why I think there's a hole and get them to 'agree' or take me seriously is exhausting! Third, if I was a better person there wouldn't be a hole, to begin with.

Can you see a theme following all my reasons for not yelling for help? I am not comfortable with receiving it! There's a simple but powerful answer.

This world is a world of opposition. It's a world of give and take. Introverts are so good at giving but find receiving difficult. When they receive it feels uncomfortable.

Why is this? 

Because an introvert is so use to the blackhole effect, they've attached receiving with it

If an introvert asks for help, they are bringing attention to themselves. That attention brings up the unspoken judgements; They didn't do something right, or they are critisized for needing help, or whatever ridiculous judgment that comes to the surface, it's still a judgment

An introvert wants to be seen as a kind person which holds the idea of expectations and there comes the obligatory receiving. 

Receiving IS our spiritual refueling! 

Receiving IS our spiritual recharging!

Receiving IS our spiritual reconnecting! 

Without learning how to receive in a way that removes the spotlight, then naturally an introvert shys away from receiving. Period! They remain unfulfilled, empty, exhausted, overwhelmed, dissatisfied, or trapped.

If you are ready to learn how and experience the power of receiving, within a safe space, without judgment then get on The Restored-Soul's waiting list.

The Restored-Soul is the event that offers an introvert tools on how to safely fill their imaginary emotional pitchers!  

An Introvert’s Silent Challenge ~ change

Michael Cupo is a Visual Storyteller, who I’ve befriended on Facebook. He has a beautiful way of writing to explain deeper concepts that offer peace in this life. I felt impressed to create a conversational blog post which is why I’m sharing his post from his Facebook group; A Course in Miracles. I’ll add my thoughts in Italics. Please add your comments below.

Allowing Change: The Introvert’s Silent Challenge

In quietness, all truth is revealed. In the noise of a Conditioned Mind, one remains in a state of that’s the way it is without any room for change… 

  • The conditioned mind (Websters Dictionary: the state of something) from an introvert’s point of view, it’s like the pattern, a label used, the state you originate from, or the psychological blueprint you’ve been given to learn from, within this physical world.

Without quietness (awareness), consciousness has a hard time evolving and the practice that allows it (bringing awareness to our current situation) isn’t done by too many people that I encounter. This isn’t something that’s right or wrong, it is just a fact. If you live life with the tools that were developed in an unconscious state (our coping skills from a young age), those tools will produce a state of unconsciousness (a habit that we’ve acquired and happens without thinking: read habit poem here). It’s a law of nature, apple trees produce apples. In this respect it’s just the way it is, It doesn’t have to be this way, but unless you see how the unconscious tools don’t benefit your life, it will remain as it is.

  • I love his analogy of the law of nature. Apple trees produce apples. With that, the coping skill an introvert created as a young child out of survival, most likely initiates exhaustion overtime, because they’re always maintaining that level of survival; like an engine of resistance running on high idle. So with this law of nature, out of habit, an introvert continues to create exhaustion unless they are willing to bring awareness to their emotional and physical state and shows a desire to learn a healthier way to cope.

Quietness (awareness) is what allows change to take place. If your old beliefs are in place and running the show, how is anything new ever going to replace them? It’s nearly impossible without investigating your behavior so change can occur. We develop Conditioned Mind Patterns that control our lives and we say things like that’s just the way it is and we reinforce the conditionings existence when things like this are stated. This is the true nature of our unconsciousness, accepting things prior to investigating their true nature. As a society, we are more aware, but this doesn’t mean we are any closer to a solution then we were three thousand years ago. It may seem like it because of the knowledge that is available, but knowledge doesn’t equate to consciousness. In quietness (awareness), all truth is revealed. In the noise of a Conditioned Mind, one remains in a state of that’s the way it is without any room for change…

Holding the gift as an introvert doesn’t have to hold limitations. There is a way to release that engine of resistance, and feel normal once again. 

Let’s say NO to burnout!

Let’s say NO to just coping or getting by

Let’s say NO to judgment!

If you’re ready to discover ways to refuel, recharge, and reconnect then click on the button below and get on the Restored-Soul’s waiting list.

Once the 2020 retreat schedule is posted, you’ll get first choice on which one to attend. 

How does an Introvert stay out of this Blackhole? I’ll share three easy steps on how you can, my fellow introvert, stay away from this slippery slope!

Hello fellow Introvert! 

If you are a true Introvert this picture sparks a pang of truth in your heart. But what do you do about it? Or you may be saying, I'm not in the spotlight but I still feel judged. Let me explain it in greater detail. You see I'm an introvert but many believe I'm an extrovert. The only reason why they beleive that is because I have successfully covered up my introvert-ism. I can function in front of people. I can stay removed from the perceived spotlight as long as I'm prepared. You throw a microphone in my face and ask me a question I haven't prepared for ... I'll go blank (retreat, pull away, hide, you choose the word) everytime! Then this cycle begins for me because the feelings of being judged are overwhelming and it takes a few hours or even days to come out of this blackhole, if I'm lucky. 

I have struggled with my introvert-ism all my life. Umm, da! Of course I have, I fully believe I was born with this beautiful trait. Introvertism holds unseen power and once recognized there are ways to stay far away from this blackhole!

Here's a few ways I've been sucked into that black hole and I'll share with  how I've gotten out! Preferably to STAY out of this blackhole! 

A biggy is talking about success. Most of us desire to be successful, do we not? Success has held many definitions for individuals, some it's money, others it's fame, and others it's achievements. For an introvert, there is an inner conflict, a conflict that can be felt even reading these words.  

Take money: the more money you make usually leads to greater recognition. Higher positions in the company, or even greater sales. Look at the spotlight for the richest in the world! A full magazine story on their life. Talk about the spotlight!

Take fame: the more fame you hold, well, that's probably not going to happen for introverts because the spotlight is filled with judgement. Now, they may become famous but will find a place of seclusion; like J.K. Rowling for example.

For achievements, that's another big spotlight and it's possible for an introvert to become, say a gold medalist, but they quietly master their sport, and perform for themselves over the spotlight.

Taking achievements; for extroverts, the attention is all good! But once that attention feels like a spotlight, it's a downhill spiral to the blackhole. For example, I was a real estate agent for several years. I loved working one on one with my buyers and sellers. That wasn't the tough part. The tough part was to be recognized for my achievements. In the newspaper came a highlight of me being the Agent of the Month. As soon as I seen that, the judgement, that inner critic was set free! Once that inner critic has a voice then expectations appear like huge mountains. You work harder, like a hamster wheel to meet those unseen expectations. Maybe they are expectations you believe are what society expects, or parental approval, or the expectation of your inner critic. 

When an introvert begins losing ways to accomplish those silent expectations (feeling overwhelmed, defeated, not good enough, criticized, etc), the inner drive moves to obligation. Anything that can keep you going but now, resentment begins forming. An introvert gets a little more angry over time because they're feeling used, devalued, unappreciated, or misunderstood.  

WHEW! It then seems like the blackhole of self-punishment, victimhood takes on a weird level of acceptance. The blackhole is a form of rest and seems to force an introvert to stop striving to meet those silent expectations. But then again, this has been a life time pattern for many of us introverts, right? 

You take these characteristics and put them into a relationship, well now that takes on another path that usually doesn't end positive. 

As promised, Here's Your Three easy steps to survive this blackhole! 

Please note, I will use the energetic terminology of Ego and Spirit. This explains how we see our situation. Ego lens focus' on using the world as your value system. The Spirit lens focus' on using the spirit, universe, higher power (whatever you call it) as your value system.  

Step one: Recognize the trigger of the spotlight. First, take a deep breath and relax. The Ego lens IS the spotlight! It feels like we are literally under a spotlight, that spotlight which magnifies every flaw you have! Just think of a magnified lighted facial mirror. Looking into a mirror like that you see your every pore! Then when you step back all you can see are those flaws any time you look in a mirror. And in reality, no one else can. 

Step two: Remove the blame. Blame is the author of judgement. To learn more about this, click here for a free download: 3 Principles for Healing

Step three: Realign your boundaries. Expectations are the boundaries you believe others set, which takes away your power! Your boundaries should hold joy. What makes your heart fill with joy? No more people pleasing! No more being a 'yes' person. Remember, once those expectations are embedded into your belief system, they can quickly turn into the ugly path of obligation.  

All of these three steps, not taken usually turns everyday living into an exhausted event. Then to attempt to explain your situation to another person ... well that just adds to the exhaustion!

What coping skills have you used to 'rest' or to spiritually refuel, recharge, or reconnect to that inner joy? 

I have your answer! 

My friend Kristen and I are creating The Restored-Soul event. This is the place where an introvert can come to do just that: become spiritually refueled, recharged, and reconnected. We are truly excited to finally have an event that allows introverts that space for restoring their soul!

If you feel this is an event to calls to you, Get on the waiting list, now! 

Once the 2020 schedule is up, you’ll get notified and have the first option on which retreat serves you!