Shame, trauma, and ambiguity are deeply intertwined experiences that shape not only our emotional well-being but also our nervous system and spiritual identity. Understanding how they interact helps explain why we often feel stuck, disconnected, or unsafe—even after leaving environments that once controlled or harmed us.
When someone disengages from a rigid or fear-based belief system, it can feel disorienting, even terrifying. The mind may know freedom is good, but the body—the nervous system—has been conditioned to equate safety with conformity. This internal conflict creates a cycle where the heart longs to open, yet fear keeps it guarded. Recognizing this isn’t failure; it’s the first step toward healing. It’s the awareness that the nervous system has been wired for survival, not freedom—and that it can be gently retrained.
When the walls around your heart tighten, trauma becomes the narrative of who you think you are—a broken, wounded soul. That is shame: the illusion that your essence is flawed, unworthy, or beyond repair. But that illusion is not truth. You are not defective; you are simply carrying the imprints of pain that were never yours to hold.
In 2 Nephi 26:22 of the Book of Mormon, it describes how Satan leads people away “with flaxen cords, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever.” Fear operates much like those flaxen cords—soft at first, almost invisible—until it quietly takes hold and closes off the heart. When fear becomes the master of our decisions, it slowly replaces love as our guide. Yet this bondage is not proof of brokenness; it is a reflection of forgetfulness—forgetting who we truly are: spiritual beings having an earthly experience.
In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz defines sin not as moral failure, but as anything that takes us away from our Divine Self. Through that lens, fear itself becomes sin—not because it makes us bad, but because it separates us from love, from truth, from the divine essence that we are.
When we begin to see fear as disconnection rather than condemnation, healing takes root. The nervous system learns that safety is not found in control or compliance, but in authenticity. The heart learns that openness is not danger, but divine alignment. And the soul remembers what it always knew: that freedom, love, and peace are our natural state—waiting patiently beneath the noise of shame and fear.
~ You’ve just read a section of my book, more to come soon.